This week's lesson I've learned: Opposition and weaknesses helps you grow and trust in the Lord. I don't have time to tell you every experience this week, you learn so much everyday on the mission, but these three days stood out to me.
Tuesday: Tuesday was full of promise in our eyes. We had 4 lessons lined up with 4 members which is a dream on a mission. However, each one, one by one, cancelled by text or flogged (didn't show up) us. One in particular was very hard for me. It was number 26, Patricia which I talked about earlier, where we had such a meaningful conversation. She had been on holiday that weekend, and when we called her she had a cold and did not want us to come by at all. Not going to lie, I was taken back and hurt, I maybe teared up. I realized this sadness was a blessing because it let me know I was truly loving people and it let me know how much the gospel means to me. So as each one cancelled, we still trusted in the Lord and knew this one amazing member who was a convert of a year {Carly} should still come even though we had just found out he cancelled. She came all the way from Chippenham, and we went by a lady's house we had met the other day. She couldn't meet too, and so we pressed on trusting that Carly came all this way for a reason. As we said bye to her at the train station, she texted us 30 minutes later saying she knew why she came as she was able to help this family coming from a refuge. It was quite emotional for her, and it was so amazing to see how the Lord has plans for all of His children to help one another. I am thankful for the Spirit guiding us to act on promptings even though at the moment we have no idea. It was such a learning experience for Carly as well as us. There were even more miracles to everything that happened that day, but that would go on for much longer.
Thursday Night: I was severely humbled and learned that I need to extend that love I was talking about for Patricia to every person. So there is this lovely Italian lady that is 91 and our neighbour. We have met with her a few times, but most everything gospel related goes over her head and I had felt like she was just enjoying the company. So this was our fourth visit, and already I went in feeling like we shouldn't be here and this was not utilising our time wisely. As we continued trying to teach her, nothing stuck and I was getting more and more frustrated in my heart to the point where I was getting really upset as time droned on. It was also driving me crazy that my companion was scheduling another time to visit with her when I felt like it was pointless and I just wanted to leave. By the time we left, I was itching to get out as my companion was helping her and saying a loving goodbye. She turned to my companion and said, "she doesn't like me does she?" At that point, my heart dropped and I realised I was absolutely in the wrong. In my haste to be the "most effective missionary" I had forgotten the most important principle of love. I was failing to love and see this lady as a child of God. In my head I was deceiving myself with all these justifications when I was violating the first and second commandment to love God and love His children. We immediately went to the flat and I still said all my concerns to my companion, but I apologized about how immature I had acted and how I realised how wrong my behavior was. This is where I am so thankful to have had my peace building classes at BYU Hawaii and the atonement of Jesus Christ. They have taught me how the most important thing we can do is love and treat people as people, not objects. I was able to quickly see my error and fix it before it turned into a much larger conflict. I am not perfect, obviously from this story you can see, but how thankful I am to recognize my mistakes and be forgiven by our Savior Jesus Christ. We can be cleansed of every sin if we are willing to come unto Him and ask for it. I will tell you when I partook of the sacrament yesterday I felt such a cleansing feeling and overwhelming love. I know life can be so frustrating with all the silly and stupid mistakes we make, but we can be forgiven and feel peace. I know we can because I have felt that in my life. The atonement is not something to lay dormant, it is a constant and moving refinement process that is essential in our progression to be more like Him.
Saturday: The Lord truly blessed us amidst our challenges and struggles. Those blessings were in the form of Lauren and this beautiful Indian family. So originally we thought we were texting another Lauren, but the Lord know who we should be teaching because when we finally set a time to meet we realised it was a Lauren that Sister Barker had just met right before I came and she had fallen through the cracks. Well not anymore! She is truly being prepared as she has been sincerely seeking the truth throughout the years. We taught her the restoration and watched the film and her response was oh ya that totally makes sense! WHAT! THOSE ARE THE WORDS YOU DREAM OF AS A MISSIONARY. That sentence brought me the most joy of my whole week because it is true! It does make sense and how excited I am to meet with Lauren more. We also met with the happiest Indian family ever and they were so excited to meet with us. Happy people are the best and they welcomed us in to hear our message and promised us Indian food! Like really I just want to pick their whole family up and hug them. The Lord has people waiting for us, but we have to make mistakes and overcome them so we can be more Christlike in order to help them and be a conduit to the Holy Ghost: the real teacher of truth. How grateful I am that the Lord still loves me, weaknesses and all, and is willing to help me work through them.
I know that if we are willing to learn from our trials by humbling ourselves before the Lord, he will bless us. Ether 12:27 sums that up.
Lots of Love,
Cheers!
Sister McLeod
Ether 12:27 - And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.
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